I say "number one" as I am sure there will be more flurries of fun to be had. The flurry consists of pieces of my week, month, life, a stray dog or two, and some houses. Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.Shoot, I feel like there is enough flurry mess for two blog posts! Or this will just be one big thing. I don't know, we'll figure it out. I only have a map of Kansas and a sudden craving for a McFlurry.
My week was...interesting. Fun, but the kind of fun where you push things aside in your head so you can be in the here and now. Summer feels like a distant weekend now that I am surrounded by people I have known for so long. Social interaction! It's IN and I am LOVING it. Anyway, people are fun, but I can't help but feel bad for the creature from the Black Lagoon sitting alone in the back of my mind. I want to go up to it, I really do, but I'm missing some of the pieces necessary for that sort of interaction. Sigh. I feel for the little creature from the Black Lagoon because it's just a past Mia. A little past Mia who's saying, "Hey, Mia, we still haven't dealt with LAST week's problems. Why are you just going to-um? Hello?" I hear you little Black Lagoon Mia, I hear you. You practically shout at the top your lungs which leads me to think you are the cause of my recent headaches. I want to put you to rest, Black Lagoon Mia, but it is taking some TIME. Ugh. Anyway, I'm on little Black Lagoon Mia's side. We have matching jerseys.
Jim Morrison was right. People are strange. The song's beautifully eerie melody always brought me comfort, and a bit of discomfort, as it is a nice realization that you are not alone. If people are strange and you are a person then you are strange. However, different strands of strange do not always mix, thus resulting in some painful attempts to understand why. I wish Mr. Mojo Risin's simple explanation sufficed, but, unfortunately, it does not. I have this feeling life will be a never ending series of different attempts at trying to understand people. These attempts will not always be negative. These attempts might often be aimed at myself. First things first, I don't understand why everything is so difficult and simple all at the same time. These two met on a busy dance floor with the fabulous Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract as their soundtrack.
You can think about what you want to say to someone, what you would like to do, whatever, but rarely do people make those thoughts reality. I wonder what holds us back. Who is on each end of the rope in these tug of war battles and why are they both so strong? I don't know, but I've found it is healthy to sometimes snap the rope. Just let it bust. That was a rejected Nike logo, but it means the same thing. I will think about something for days and days and days until one day I bleed the thought dry and decide to act on it. It's kind of an interesting feeling when I act on whatever's been pestering me because it feels as though I have no thoughts in my head as I do it. Probably because I thought about the situation until it was a fine dust that could drift away peacefully in the wind to the sweet sounds of Kansas.
However, I have noticed that there is an extremely long line of things just waiting to get into my head. So once that thought was gone and acted upon, something most likely happened that created more thoughts. Um, alright, table for seventeen?...thousand?
I'm not too sure if this is about thoughts anymore, but what did I tell you? This is a flurry. We don't know if it's M&M's or Oreos-hell, there are Rolos now. Hold on tight.
If I was a video game character, I would have an obnoxious amount of hearts. There are too many things that sting and damage one of my hearts. I will never be fully defeated-expert game design and cheat codes are to thank-but goodness do I fall down at times. Sending a text message and receiving no response. Half a heart blinks away its color. Feeling the distance between someone so dear to you. A few hearts have left the building. So many more things can get rid of my hearts, but those are ones that come to mind right now. Having a healthy balance of uncertainty and positivity is important. It's natural to feel uncertain and a bit worried, but I feel it is a little unnatural to push past that with positivity. Trust me, I am positive. I am quite optimistic, but sometimes honestly not knowing what to expect is stronger. I see it as a part of my brain with a void. There are no dendrite connections there so it has to be natural to be worried about not knowing what's up with something. Positivity feels like a man made tool to help you through these things. I use the tool, I don't mind it, but it can be tough at times.
My head is still pounding. I am going to have some cereal and sit here in silence so this little Black Lagoon Mia can finally be thought away. It may take a while, but I really do want some action to come out of these thoughts.
Wish me luck on this endeavor and all of my future ones as I wish you the same.
--Mia.
No comments:
Post a Comment