Problems in Receiving

It really concerns me that I have such a hard time receiving love when it is so easy for me to send it out. I feel like it's just my job to love and be there, but when someone does it back it really shocks me. It feels as though I am a ceiling fan and someone pointed a fan towards me to keep me cool. It just feels.. I want to say unorthodox, but weird feels better. Now it's not that I feel that I am undeserving of these...reciprocated actions and words. I know that I'm decent enough to get them,  but I think I've just lived by "treat others how you want to be treated" and got used to me being the only one doing any treating. Now the reciprocation is trickling in, but it feels like a waterfall. It's overwhelming because I feel like I know how to give, but not receive. Then I feel bad because I'm still trying to treat how they want to be treated but I don't think I really know how to treat in this situation! I don't know if it's because I do not have experience or if I'm just a hardened, old man who shows no emotion when someone hugs him. But the old man knows that it affected him. But the person doesn't know! Unless they feel it in their heart! But what if I make them not feel that feeling in their heart?  I'm having a reverse Whitney Houston moment -- How Will They Know That I Really Love Them? Do I just trust that I am cutting the mustard? Do they know? Oh I understand Whitney Houston so much now, just backwards. What do we do, Whitney?

Blind Dating

I think blind dates should be literal. Each person should be blindfolded. And to top it off, they should be hooked up to lie detectors. The lie detectors don't even have to be on, but the pressure of knowing you're hooked up to one should cut the mustard. Although it's a bit forceful, I think it could make people actually be honest and not as shallow. You'll actually feel whether you have a connection or not and see beyond their outer appearance. I think it would be really cool. Is it a TV show already? I think it should be one, but TV show producers always lie about things to make it more exciting. Maybe someone should have a blind dating lounge. I think it'd be a hit with some adventurous or desperate types. Maybe they could put some hidden cameras and mics somewhere too, that's how you'll get the raw blind date. It could be cute too, because you could pick up your video after you guys are married or engaged. It'd be like buying your picture after a ride at an amusement park. That'd be cool.

I wouldn't do it though. It's kind of scary to somewhat let someone see the inside rather than the outside we work so hard on. It's very raw. I think people depend on their outward appearance a little bit. They think, "okay, I'll knock 'em out with this outfit and my smile." But honest answers to questions and not seeing each other? It seems risky! It's easy for this plan to not work though because people can be shallow. What if they find this amazing person and when they take off the blindfold, the person is not too aesthetically pleasing? That would make the person choose between shallow things and a real connection. But I mean, you're not marrying the person. I think this blind date thing would only lead to another date or two. It'd be interesting. I want to witness it someday. I wouldn't participate though. Too intense.